It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
