I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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