Whod you bang
My nipple is on Facebook.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
