"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think people are normalizing furries
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
