try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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