So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just want nice things and good sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize