is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
