Sry I called you an 8
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
