Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
