She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
