I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.