I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.