u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
