Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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(713): View more from Texas

Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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(602): View more from Arizona

Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?

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(469): View more from Texas

I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

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