onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
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lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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