Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?