the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
