i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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