i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
