idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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