wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
