I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
