pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
