Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
