I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
