well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
