I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
