Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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