So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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