I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
