I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
