i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
