It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
