Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
