I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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