it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
