I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
