Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
