is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize