I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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