i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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