Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
