Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
