physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
