He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
