Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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