is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Operation Purity has been aborted
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize