doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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