I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
