It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
