But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You are the jesus of drinking
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
