He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
