I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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