I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize