ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
