It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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