She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
