Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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