Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she peed on how many people?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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