I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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