I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
