last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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