Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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