Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
