I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
