Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize