she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
